As we creep towards the summer season, my Help Me Busts 4 Justice hotline is full of swimsuit dilemmas. And swimwear being one of my most favourite things, I’m always happy to help…

Dear Busts 4 Justice,

Help me Busts 4 Justice!: I would like to find a cute, but stylish one piece bathing suit.  My bra size is a size H cup.  I want a supportive bathing suit, maybe with a built in bra.  However, the suits I find are grandmother looking or the cups are way to small.  Help!  I am going to Florida soon, and I need a suit very soon.  I need to slim my stomach and hips as well.

R

Dear R,

Thanks for getting in touch. Although you haven’t given me your full bra size, there are loads of cute H-cup one pieces out there. My absolute favourite is Fever (above) by Freya. It’s really simple but the low neckline and waist band make it smoking hot and super-flattering. It’s available in a bunch of colours too.

If you’d prefer some colour, D+ cup specialists Bravissimo have this simple but bright red San Marino swimsuit, also up to a K Cup.

If you fancy more of a print, this super-cute Wish You Were Here swimsuit by Letters From Evie is something a little younger and a little different – I love the boat print and the polka dots, plus it’s strapless which means no awkward tan lines.

And finally if you would feel more comfortable with something shaping, Panache do this stylish, structured number in a huge range of sizes up to a K cup.

I hope this helps – let me know how you get on!

Love from Busts 4 Justice

I get lots of messages asking for help finding inexpensive lingerie options for big busted girls on a budget. While I doubt you can find a well-constructed DD+ bra for the same kind of prices as you can get an A cup for in Primark (nor would I want to – there’s something unsettling about those kind of prices…), you can find a huge array of bras for under £30. And while that might be a big upfront cost for supporting yourself up front, with good care (hand washing & air drying only) they’ll last long enough to justify the investment.

One brand that consistently delivers in the lower end of the market is Midnight Grace by Figleaves, with bras selling on average between £16-26. At £24, Olivia is actually at the higher end of the Midnight Grace scale, but with her pretty stitching and delicate pink/grey colour combination, I had to investigate.

Unfortunately Olivia fails where previous Figleave-own bras I’ve tried like Just Peachy and the Fortune bikini have succeeded: a decent, fairly true to size fit on a budget. She is uncomfortable firm and small in the cup – the 30G I tried fit more like a 28FF/G. And with such a narrow size range already, that makes Olivia a significantly less interesting proposition for the full cup market.

Although she looks very intricate and pretty even in the flesh, I also couldn’t help but think she felt like a ‘budget’ bra on. The seams were a little rough and scratchy, and even in the right size I think she would have irritated. Girls on a tight budget would do much better to grab an out-of-season bragain over at Brastop, or explore the very many £25-£30 priced, better quality bras available out there in the market.

Olivia is available in sizes 30D-38G - but for my money there are much better ways for a girl on a budget to spend her hard earned cash.

Reader P sent her struggle with sister sizes to Help Me Busts 4 Justice. Let’s help her navigate her way to a more comfortable fit…

Help Me Busts 4 Justice!

I just found out my actual size is 28D (I’d been wearing a 34B). I read in one of your articles that 28D is the same as 30C, 32B, and 34A. I’m confused because for a time a few years back I did wear 32B and 34A and neither of them felt good. And I can’t find any affordable stores that actually sell a 28 bra. My boobs are uncomfortable! What do I do?

Hi P,

Thanks for reaching out. While it is true that there are sister sizes that have the same volume as other sizes (eg 34B, 32C, 30D, 28E) – it doesn’t mean that they’ll all fit the same woman. While a 34B and a 28E may technically be the same volume, the way they are structured is very different. This is because on a 34 back the breast is distributed across a wider body, whereas on a 28 the same amount of breast will be protruding forward.

Importantly in this case though, you write that you were a 34B, but that 32B and a 34A were uncomfortable. That’s not surprising as they are not sister sizes to 34B – both 32B and 34A are smaller cup sizes than a 34B. The 28 back sister size of a 34B is actually more like a 28E. That said, as 34B tends to be a ‘catch all’ size for so many women (thanks M&S/Victoria’s Secret!) you may find that a 28E is actually still too small. In that case, size up to a 28F (or higher, if you need to).

You’ll know you’ve found your perfect fit when the band sits horizontal to the floor and flat to the chest in the center, the cups perfectly encapsulate all breast tissue (not sitting on it, or creating pockets of space), and the cups sit smoothly across the breast without digging in, gaping or puckering.

How easy it is to find a 28E largely depends on where you are in the world. If you’re in the UK, you increasingly find 28 backs on the high street in places like Bravissimo – it is well worth making the trip to see them if you can, especially if you’ve never had a decent fitting before. If you’re in the US or elsewhere, if there’s not a specialist boutique in your area you may need to rely on ordering from overseas. Look for companies like Large Cup Lingerie, Brastop or Figleaves who all either offer free international shipping as standard or at least have regular deals.

Good luck – and let me know how you get on!

I’m obviously a massive Deco fan already (here, here and here… if you’re counting), so I when my personal bra heros at Bravissimo offered to send me a new Deco Shape multiway bra to review I jumped (well, squeeeeed) at the chance.

The Shape collection is an evolution of the standard Deco range – taking the smooth, seamless simplicity of the original and expanding it to include more shapes and control underwear. And like the standard Deco, the Deco multiway is another impossible feat of engineering from the Freya team. With her extremely deep plunge she gives an uplifted cleavage, but subtler and wider than the va-va-voom of the original. Which means that – without trying – I’ve actually stumbled across a very real contender for under my wedding dress. Dun dun duuuun.

The multiway isn’t meant to be worn as a strapless but I wanted to check out the security and support so wore it that way anyway. I have been running up and down stairs, unloading the washing machine and generally getting on with my evening for hours and – unbelievably – nothing has moved. Not a nipple. The support is phenomenal in this thing. In fact, the only thing you really need the detachable, versatile straps for is to stop the top peak of the cups snagging on your armpits as you defy gravity. If the cups were a different shape, this would be a kick ass strapless too.

I usually wear a 28GG in Deco, but actually the 30G in the shape multiway was a good fit. I suspect a 28GG would have been a little too tight – so you may want to consider ordering up a back size (and down a cup size to match) of your usual Deco size.

For the bottoms, I’ve never worn control pants in my life before but I liked these – the pretty floral panel was enough to make them pretty but not overtly twee. Plus – and I’m sure Spanx veterans will know this already – they felt amazing. I actually tried them on over tights at first and – I won’t lie – had about five minutes of fun running around the house like a superhero. I’m not going to pretend I’m a control pant connoisseur – all I can vouch for is that I like them and they didn’t make me want to pass out or give me weird sausages for legs. They also stopped Mr B4J – lover of big floral pants (and girls pretending to be Superman) – dead in his tracks. Not a bad sign if this wins out in the wedding wars…

Massive love to Bravissimo for letting me try this absolute beaut of a bra. Freya’s Shape Deco multiway bra is available in sizes 28DD-G, 30-36 D-GG, 38D-G.

Oh Mimi. I’ve been hankering after the perfect neon bra all ‘summer’, and following the disappointment of Bravissimo’s Alana [review here - wrong shape for me; loads of women love it though] I thought it was never meant to be…

Until I found Wizz Pop. Mimi Holliday‘s neon treat is a little expensive, true – but to me so worth it. And not to sound crazy, but I have a newly bought leopard print maxi dress [here from Whistles - trust me: stick a belt on her, looks awesome on curves] and Wizz Pop is the perfect bra to peep out of the side of her when the sun finally does come out…

Okay, so I do sound crazy. But Wizz Pop is more than a pretty face. The construction is extremely high quality, and the fabric and detail are silky soft. I love the contrast between the pink and the yellow day-glo (I’m an eighties child…), and the silky straps are a luxurious change from the standard ribbing of my average day bras.

I found the 30G to be true to size in the cup, although a little generous in the back. I could probably have managed a 28GG [to get a little extra life from it in the long term], but even so she was extremely comfortable and supportive all day long.

Wizz Pop by Mimi Holliday is available from a range of higher-end stockists in sizes 28D-36GG, and selling out fast… Catch her while you can.

******** EDIT *********

However much I loved (and still love, oh my broken heart…) Wizz Pop I feel it is my duty to add that after a few wears I discovered a fatal flaw. She is dry clean only.

I barely have time to buy milk, let alone do dry cleaning runs for my smalls. A dry clean only bra may just about be one of the most impractical and frustrating things I’ve ever heard of.

Not as frustrating, however, as realising it was dry clean only… after carefully handwashing it. It is totally, irreparably ruined.

There’s a moral in here somewhere…

Twitter followers will know I’ve been hankering after Patsy in coral since I saw her in Selfridges’ lingerie paradise last month. She’s longline (love!), polka dot (what’s not to love!), and skin-colour-friend-to-dumpling-white-gingers-everywhere coral (love love love!).

She arrived on my doorstep last week… and – shocker – I do like her a lot. The 30G fitted me perfectly – better perhaps even previous longline Piper, as she’s a little snugger and the longline doesn’t seem to flip up. She gives an uplifted (but not Deco amounts of uplifted) cleavage, and of course the smoothing longline is fantastic for smoothing any errant back bumps under clingy summer dresses. The cups seem true to size – certainly this is the fit I expect and love from a good Freya bra.

That said, as much as I wanted to be she wasn’t perfect. For whatever reason, the straps are positioned slightly wider apart at the back (not at the front, mind…) than on Piper. As you can see below it’s not a huge difference – except as the day wore on I realised this meant the metal hoop was frequently digging to my shoulder blade. A frustrating little niggle on what should be a clean home run for Freya.

That said it wasn’t too bad: although I really felt it when travelling for five hours by van in to the depths of France; when I’m not strapped in to a seat trying to persuade my fiance to let me play November Rain at the wedding via the persuasive medium of air guitar it’s not really that noticeable…

Personally the frilly pants don’t really do it for me – I’d prefer matching non-thong undercrackers that you can actually wear under fitted clothes – but that doesn’t get in the way of this being a fairly cracking set for the summer.

Freya’s Patsy Longline is available in sizes 28-30 D-G 32-38 C-G.

Busts 4 Justice puts on her agony aunt hat (and bra) to help K with the tricky issue of stretch marks on young boobs.

Help me Busts 4 Justice!

I have white stretch marks on my breasts that distress me. I am young and kinda concerned, my boobs give me enough trouble I don’t need them to look bad too! I’ve been told I should try some oils and lotions, but I was wondering about sleeping and bras. Should I wear a bra while sleeping, or at very least a sports bra? I measure out to be a 28GG (UK sizing) so I’m worried that flopping about in my sleep is making the stretch marks worse. Please help my busts 4 justice! I know you can!

K

Hi K!

Thank you for writing. Stretch marks on your boobs are perfectly normal – especially when you’re young and they’re relatively new -, and they do fade over time. There are lots of lotions and potions on the market that claim to reduce them, but shy away from expensive ones promising miracles. For most skin discolourations, something with a load of Vitamin E in is your best bet. You can use BioOil of course, but I’ve always found Palmer’s Cocoa Butter (particularly the waxy variety that comes in a pot) the best on scars. It’s available from most drugstores, is super cheap, and makes you smell edible all day long.

As for the sleeping issue – I’m actually asked this a lot. There is no proven evidence to suggest that sleeping in a bra has any beneficial effects against sagging, or that it would make your stretch marks worse. But take comfort: I’m guessing I’ve got at least a decade on you age wise, but we’re almost the same bra size (I’m a 30G). My boobs are still as perky as ever and I’ve never used a sleeping bra at night. I put it down to a combination of perfectly fitting lingerie by day, and a little bit of luck with my genes.  If I look - really look - I can just about find traces of the white stretch marks I had as a teenager, but they’re really not noticeable even to me now.

To sum up, you have nothing to worry about! That said if you’re considering night-time support because you’re uncomfortable, then choose a non-wired soft-cup bra (Freya and Panache have really pretty styles) or pyjamas with secret support (Bravissimo make these, but you can get them everywhere). If you don’t like either of those options you could always try the Kush, but if you’re young enough to live with your parents you may want to warn them because it looks rather like something else!

I hope this is helpful – try not to worry about stretch marks. We all have them – and they’re never as noticeable to anyone else as they are to ourselves.

Love from Busts 4 Justice

I’m a big fan of Panache’s brighter, bolder brand Cleo – I’ve actually been rocking Ellie today – and now they’ve transferred the same fun prints to Cleo Swimwear. Fun silhouettes (check out the ‘collar’ on the strapless one piece) and vibrant fabrics make for an eye catching collection. Wedding planning may be consuming most of my time right now, but in under two months it will be the first day of my honeymoon and for that I need some cracking swimwear…

To help out, the kind chaps at Bras & Honey sent me the Tilly balconnet from Cleo’s SS13 range. Print wise, she’s perfect for a summer holiday: the bright seaside print (with gulls!) is perfect for the beach, and she comes with good coverage for fun in the sun.

Unfortunately though, this Tilly won’t be accompanying me to Italy/Mexico/wherever-we-wash-up-possibly-the-North-Sea-at-this-rate. In a 30G, she is extremely tight in the back – so tight that it actually makes the underwires dig in at the front. Additionally, the back straps are much skinnier than I’ve seen on G+ swimwear, and combined with the tightness this creates mega back fat even where really there is none. I’d suggest sizing up in the back to get a comfortable fit.

It’s hard to gauge cup sizing because the back is so tight (so the wire was actually quite a distorted shape at the side of the bra), but she’s is a little big at the top too. My advice would be for women with less full-at-the-top breasts to size down in cup volume as well to find your perfect fit. In bra maths, that would make me a Cleo Tilly 32F.

Not the girl (or gull?) for me alas – but that does mean my suitcase is wide open for other options…

Cleo Tilly is available in sizes 28-38 DD-J.

Thanks Team Bras & Honey for letting me try her! They do international delivery of these beauts, btw…

When I wrote about the sort of bra I’d need to go under my wedding dress (eeeeeeep), the one name you lovely lot kept throwing at me was Satine by Bravissimo.

Part of Bravissimo‘s own label range, Satine is a simple satin (surprise!) plunge push up bra that retails for £29. White and silky, it’s more ‘bridal’ than I ever envisaged my wedding lingerie to be (heck my dress isn’t white and silky…), but due to neckline restrictions and it’s super-plunging plunge I had to give it a try.

For some reason I expected Satine to be bulkier than she was – possibly in the model of a Deco. But actually she’s much more lightweight than that, making her a comfortable push-up option for sticky summer nights.

Size wise, the back is firm and the cup ran true to size – and the low, soft plunge was extremely comfortable. This is definitely a bra you’d feel secure in all day, whether that day was your wedding or not.

But not my wedding. Not because there’s anything wrong with her – I think she’s a cracking bra – but HOLY WOW does she give an epic cleavage. It actually reminded me of being 15 and first trying on a Wonderbra – after 14.9 years of being a ‘late bloomer’ I was stuck in the changing room utterly transfixed by these new, enormous FHM worthy C-cups (Yeah. Loool.) Satine has the same effect.

And there’s nothing wrong with that, of course. But the wedding brief is very specific – low plunge yet modest cleavage – so because I don’t want to spend 7th September killing off older relatives, I’ll keep looking…

Satine is available only from Bravissimo in sizes 28-38 D-J.

Panache’s classic Tango plunge will be twelve this year, and as the very first ‘properly fitted’ bra I ever owned it’s a style that will always hold a place in my heart-shaped lingerie drawer.

I’ve written previously about the style in black (a bra I’ve bought repeatedly), but never any of the seasonal colours. Yellow is my absolute jam this year though, so I could resist branching out and adding another to my collection.

Except… in yellow, the exclusive-to-Bravissimo Tango plunge isn’t what I’ve come to expect from the style. In my usual 30G the back band seemed up to one size looser, the cups seemed up to half a cup bigger, and the ever-so-comfortable low plunge poked in to my ribs at the front.

Wanting to give the benefit of the doubt to a style I’ve loved and depended on for over five years, I tried my black one on to see if my body had changed and caused the discrepancy. But no – all was as it should be. Whether it was a size mislabelling or an adjustment to the size in the exclusive range, the yellow Tango plunge just wasn’t working for me. A real pity. And my yellow cravings remain unsated…

Panache’s Tango plunge in yellow is available in sizes 28-38 DD-H.

A mega Bravissimo order on potential bras for my wedding was the perfect opportunity to audition honeymoon lingerie while I was at it…. And as Tutti Rouge’s Betty – with its floral and frilly chintz – is exactly what the soon to be officially Mr B4J loves in a pair of undercrackers (much to my horror, I have to say…) – I had to give it a try for him.

This is the second bra I’ve tried from the very new lingerie brand (I loved their debut Lilliana – find my review of her here) – and once again the fit is pretty strong. The back is firm, the cups ran true to size at a 30G, and she gives a fantastically uplifted cleavage.

As with Lilliana, the straps are refreshingly skinny although a little too wide set for my frame – and with a relatively wide set center she’ll appeal to Curvy Kate fans concerned that old classics with the same shape are evolving to be closer set in the middle. As a piece of engineering, she’s a great.

But. The frills. It is possibly the frilliest lingerie set I’ve ever tried. Tufts of lace emerge at every opportunity – especially on the knickers which are rendered essentially unwearable under lighter clothing. I also personally didn’t like the feeling of the lace at the bottom of the band – it was scratchy and made me feel like I had grown mould.

Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with a little bit of frilly flair if that’s your jam… but it’s definitely not mine. Betty made me feel like a doily – and however much Mr B4J may think he likes that sort of thing it’s not how I want to spend my first days of my married life.

Bit of a disappointment for me – but considering fit and how much I loved Lilliana I’m still excited by this new brand. Just please, hold the trimmings for me next time would you?

Tutti Rouge’s Betty is available in sizes 28-38 DD-HH.

Isobel by Panache Swimwear, 28-40 D-K

Help Me Busts 4 Justice!

I am looking for a nice swimsuits that will fit my bra size which is 36 K. Please help me find what I’m looking for.

S

Hey S,

Apologies for the slow response: as those around me are no doubt sick of hearing I’m getting married in three weeks, and between work and wedmin there’s not all that much room left in my brain for bras.

That said, a girl needs a break. What better way to unravel my over-taxed brain cells than a little bit of swimwear related research…?

I’m sorry to be the bearer of disappointing news but K-cup swimwear – especially K-Cup swimsuits – are still a rare breed, so you don’t have quite as much choice as I would love to be able to deliver here (not least because a couple of the styles I found have already sold completely out).

That said, it’s not totally hopeless. Panache do a classic, almost 50′s silhouetted Isobel in sizes 28-40 D-K (above). It’s plain, but I think the neckline brings an interesting and elegant detail to what could be a boring black costume. And if that’s too – well, black – the San Marino swimsuit by Bravissimo is brighter option for your holiday wardrobe.

San Marino swimsuit by Bravissimo, 30-38 DD-K

Tankinis can also be a great alternative – offering a similar amount of coverage but much more flexibility in sizes that with a one-piece. This Paradise Red tankini by Curvy Kate, and this Cape Verde tankini also by Bravissimo are bright (if not mind-blowing) alternatives. And if you prefer a print and feel like being a shade braver with a flash of tummy, you could even try this cute pineapple print Coco Palm suit by Bravissimo too.

Paradise Red Tankini by Curvy Kate, 28-40 D-K

Cape Verde tankini by Bravissimo, 30-38 DD-K

Coco Palm tankini by Bravissimo, 30-38 DD-K

I’m sorry it’s not the biggest selection – but one thing I’ll say is that swimsuit ranges and size options have consistently improved every summer for the last four years. This year, J-Cup swimwear is nearly commonplace. If demand is proven (and sell-out sizes suggest it is), then K-Cups could be hot on their heels.

Good luck and let me know how you get on,

Busts 4 Justice

Busts 4 Justice has been quiet/absent this summer – but for a very good reason: I got married!

Two and a half weeks ago on a boat in Amsterdam, this Ms became, well, still a Ms actually – but with extra metalware and 100 of our favourite people to cheer us on. I’m still giddy.

In the end the bride wore Freya’s mighty Deco multiway, stitched in to Burberry (Brit, not bridal…). It’s a fantastic bra – even with the additional weight of some fairly heavy sequins it stayed well in place, was unfailingly comfortable and gave me a cracking cleavage no matter which way I threw myself on the dance floor (and believe me, that was every which way).

I’m now catching up on a fairly massive pile of Help Me Busts 4 Justice letters  - and looking forward to a busy Autumn. Shout via the contact form, Facebook or Twitter if you have any requests or questions. It’s good to be back!

Love, Busts 4 Justice xx

I’ll stop harping on about it soon, I promise – but planning a wedding with and getting married to Mr B4J this summer was one of the most fun things I’ve ever done. 

That said, as I was going through the experience myself it was easy to see how it could turn in to an absolutely horrifying marshmallow coloured stress fest. So behold! My top tips for surviving your own wedding without your brain (or other bodily parts) melting…

1: Actually want to get married!

I know, I know. But in all seriousness, it’s 2013 and getting married is not compulsory. If getting hitched is not your cup of tea then don’t worry about it. There are plenty of other opportunities in life to eat cake and tell the person you love that you love them.

But if you do want to get married…

2: Do what you like!

There are lot of opinions out there about weddings. Some of them are nefarious $$$-extorting inspired (apparently there is such a thing as ‘you’re not invited but here’s the gift list anyway cards’ now. Bleugh.), but many of them are the unasked for nitpickings of well-meaning but often misguided loved ones. (I know of one girl having a family-induced crazy-spiral over buttonhole politics. Hint: there should not be such a thing as buttonhole politics).

Here’s the thing. In the modern construct, a wedding should be about two people who have decided to publicly and legally declare that they have picked the other person out of all other people to hang out with for the rest of their lives. That’s a significant, important decision. The rest is icing on a delicious cake – your delicious cake – and you can decorate it (or not) however you want. People will always voice their opinions, but when it comes down to it all you really have to do is only what you want.

(I suspect paying for the wedding yourself hugely helps you on this count – much better to have a wedding you can afford than be beholden to people who might have hitherto undisclosed fundamentalist opinions about the wording of your invitations or who quickly reveal they consider their contribution entitles them to bring a bunch of people you barely know let alone want to buy dinner for. Set ground rules before accepting donations…).

I bought my dress online. I walked down the aisle hand-in-hand with my groom. We didn’t have formal photographs or tablecloths or place settings or a fancy multi-course dinner. I did a speech. I danced my face off all night wearing a Fez. I had the best day: because it was totally ours.

3: Keep your body strong!

Planning a wedding is bloody hard work. Not just logistically – in the months to the wedding even if you’re not initially aware of it you go through a rollercoaster of emotions, stress and adrenaline (this heady combination made me maniacally efficient if a little boggle-eyed. I kind of miss it). Assuming ‘corpse bride’ isn’t the theme of your wedding, make friends with your body and treat it like you’d treat an extremely expensive racehorse: balanced meals, regular exercise, and sugar cubes and under-the-chin tickles when you feel the urge.

If you want to lose weight (and – full disclosure – I did shake off a bit of post-Mr B4J ‘happy padding’ before the big day), do so remembering that literally no one in that room is going to be looking at you saying ‘nice dress, shame she didn’t lose that last 3lb’. NO ONE sees your body as harshly as you do, least of all on your wedding day. Give it a break. Avoid crash diets like the plague (good advice for life) and use healthy eating and exercise to buff up in a way that enriches rather than depletes. I found that running really helped me cope with the adrenaline levels (love my Freya Active), but that also cake is good for your soul. There is a cake theme to this post. I may be hungry.

4: Make sure you are comfortable!

Everyone remembers a night where they went out feeling overdressed, or underdressed, or overexposed, or underexposed. Or where their heels hurt after five minutes and their knickers were eaten by their butt cheeks before they’d got out of the cab. Well, that night should definitely not be your wedding.

Wear the dress that you want to, and the dress that makes you feel good – whether that’s traditional white or untraditional gold or something totally different. When you try it on, stand up and sit down A LOT. Practice dancing in your heels. Make sure your bra fits perfectly (and works under your dress!), and that your pants don’t adventure off in either direction (until you want them to…).

Ditto hair and make-up by the way. Doing my eyeliner myself five minutes before leaping in to a taxi did require a huge slug of brandy to stop my hands shaking – but at least it was how I liked it. After a test session in Bobbi Brown I was rather petrified I was going to get married looking like a vampire…

5: Love your spreadsheets!

Mmm Google Drive multi-tab multi-user spreadsheet. Oh how I miss you, you gorgeous creature.

For real. From invites to addresses to budgets to bookings, it’s the only way to stay sane [and not totally bankrupt].

6: Go with the flow

However carefully you plan, however perfectly you imagine everything: stuff is going to go off course. It just is. But unless “off course” means your partner going missing, or one of your immediate relations bursting in to flames, then there really is no point freaking out (especially if crying makes you look as much like a boiled sweet as it does me).

Expecting change, and being flexible when something does misfire, means you don’t ruin your mascara over something that can be fixed with Google and a compromise. The casual, modest bouquet made from small wildflowers you ordered can arrive as a toddler-sized bunch of white roses that dwarfs your entire body. The minister can forget the order of ceremony and end up marrying you three times. Your mother can drink two gins and heckle you from the front row while you’re saying your vows. It doesn’t for one second need to obstruct what is an amazing moment between you and your favourite person of all.

* It did. He did. She did.

 7: Don’t be a jerk to your bridesmaids!

I had a maid of honour. She was awesome. This is because she is a good friend, not because she was my unpaid skivvy for the day. If you want to be friends after your wedding day, don’t be a jerk to your bridesmaids.

Also, try and choose a dress that doesn’t rely on your best friends having to help you pee all night as if you were a toddler mid-potty training. Let them get drunk and dance in peace, Ms Antoinette.

8: Stay close to your partner!

The night before we got married, Mr B4J said “why do people spend the night before the wedding away from the person they’re marrying? You’re nervous, you’re stressed, you’ve got a million things to think about: why then remove yourself from the person who is best at making you feel better?”

The man I’m trying to remember to call my husband has an extremely good point.

We woke up together and spent most of the day together. We spent five minutes catching our breath alone before we walked down the aisle together. We made sure we caught up throughout the night. And at the end of the evening, we felt like we’d actually managed to spend our wedding together. Oh, and we snogged a lot – which is why the photos are a little gratuitous. But let’s face it: never again are people going to be so enthusiastic about watching you mack in public. Enjoy!

9: Savour every minute!

Not just the wedding: the planning too. It’s so much fun and then it’s over so, so fast. Take time to look around you and enjoy it all. Good advice for marriage, probs.

10: Don’t make your own bunting!

Trust me on this. You will never make enough, it takes forever, and outside of Pinterest who bloody cares about bunting anyway?

I’ve written a lot about my love for Wonderbra’s Ultimate Strapless bra: their revolutionary strapless bra that as well as being sweetheart shaped, longline and low-backed, truly delivers on its promise to stay up for as long as you do. In the ultimate test, I first tried mine a couple of years ago as a bridesmaid in my Dad’s wedding. It didn’t slip an inch.

I do feel a certain degree of responsibility in my recommendations and reviews. I am aware that people may spend their money on the back of what they read here – and that’s why I am always as honest, and as balanced, as I can possibly be.

So I’m a little alarmed to hear that the Ultimate Strapless – which I have championed – seems to have recently caused allergic reactions (from the silicone strips, that stop the bra from slipping). This includes in several readers who have e-mailed me to describe identical blistering of the skin, and a good friend who started having the reactions when she replaced her Ultimate Strapless earlier this year.

It could be a coincidence of course, but given the numbers and the sudden reaction in my friend [not to mention the numerous unanswered complaints on their Facebook wall] I have reached out to Wonderbra to ask if they have changed the formula of their silicone strips. Disappointingly – especially as a blogger who has been such an advocate for their product – I am yet to hear back. If you’ve experienced a reaction to the Ultimate Strapless, I’d urge you to send me an e-mail/comment below with details [or contact me on Facebook in confidence if that's easier], or reach out to Wonderbra directly. The Ultimate Strapless bra may defy physics – but there’s no point if the price is painful blisters that prevent you wearing bras for days.

Will keep you posted.

B4J x

Even the best fitting bras can irritate once in a while; but what do you do when a chronic health condition means they hurt all the time?

Help Me Busts 4 Justice!

I’m a 20 year old with a chronic pain condition called fibromyalgia. I am in intense pain every day of my life (imagine how it felt the last time you broke a bone and imagine dealing with that everyday). Because of this, bras are incredibly painful for me, I’ve followed your advice and Cheryl Warner’s, and Brastop, and every reputable source I could find to find the perfect fit, but it still hurts so badly that I don’t know what to do anymore. 

Do you have any advice on what bras to look for, or how I could make them more comfortable for me? I work in a male dominated industry, and I’m a 38E, so going braless is just not an option.

Thanks for any help you have!

K

Hey K,

So sorry to hear about your condition: though I don’t have any experience personally I put this question out to my network in the hopes of finding some advice that could help find a supportive solution that causes you less pain than your standard underwired bras, and easy to track down in the States.

One great suggestion was to look for a wireless moulded bra, like the Freya Deco wireless. It’ll give you slightly more structure than a standard soft cup, but without any hard components.

But if that feels too ‘squished’ up front then of course you can try a more standard soft cup bra, like one of Royce’s soft cup bras (which though I haven’t tried, have been highly recommended to me). They don’t tend to give the most structured shape under clothes compared to underwired bras, but it will hold everything in the right place without wires.

As an alternative to standard soft bras, Braless in Brasil recommends Decent Exposures [her review here]. It’s not the most beautiful of bras but she raves about the comfort – plus being able to switch to a different back style may be a welcome respite for your shoulders.

For non-work days where structure is less important, the Ahh Bra was recommended as being a totally soft option: but given its design it may not give you the shape you need or want under clothes.

I don’t know anyone who has tried this, but it’s also probably worth exploring bras with ‘gel encased’ underwires to see if that offers any additional comfort with a more traditional support. Obviously these tend to be created by brands adding in quick fixes for poor fit *ahem Victoria’s Secret ahem*, but in the correct size it may be worth exploring to help with your day-to-day comfort. Plus given your male working environment, it may help you feel confident that you have that additional structure in the cup.

Hopefully one or more of the above will help you – I’ll certainly let you know if I come across any other solutions. But failing this all, another suggestion was to actually carry alternate bras with you in your purse so that you can switch styles if your bra starts to irritate throughout the day. It’s not an ideal solution of course – but it is a plan b if you need it.

Thanks so much for reaching out – I know there’s a lot in here but I really hope some of it can help you. Please do keep me posted and let me know if any of this works!

Love from B4J x

Huge, huge thanks to the very excellent Boosaurus, HS, LS and Braless in Brasil for helping with this post. 

Image from makebra.com

Can we just take a moment to think about how awesome Robyn Lawley is? Faced with brutal online criticism of her body, instead of staying silent she directly challenged the people judging and objectifying her body, and wrote an angry article against the trend on The Daily Beast.

She wrote: “It’s just another tool of manipulation that other people are trying to use to keep me from loving my body.”

Truth.

Not including photoshop, there are actually two ways to get a thigh gap, so – dear Concerned Media – let’s not turn this in to another alarmist stick to beat skinny girls with. Yes, you can get a thigh gap from being dangerously underweight. But mostly you get there by that dumb old lottery called genetics – simply by the arrangement of your skeleton. I know – I am a healthy, non-underweight thigh-gapper myself. Check it out at the bottom. Feet pressed together, there is always light from top to (front) bottom – but I’m definitely not about to appear on any pro-ana websites any time soon. I don’t congratulate myself on it: it’s just the way I was made. It would be as absurd as congratulating myself on my thumbs, or my red wine allergy.

Which brings me to my next point of why Robyn Lawley is so excellent. When she appeared on Ellen to discuss the thigh gap, she actually spoke honestly about her relationship with her body…. she said she loved it. It’s inspiring. I’ve written about this before, but when women who are held up as examples of aspirational beauty (not to mention get paid for it…) play the “I wish my boobs were better” etc etc card to appear ‘normal’, it makes it even harder for regular women struggling with their body image to believe in themselves. Lawley is very open about her first forays in to modelling and how she tried to control her weight to fit in – but acknowledges that (via a move to France and becoming a food blogger – seriously, I love this girl) by embracing food and accepting who she naturally was she became much happier and more self-accepting. Not to mention an extremely successful model/icon and total babe in the process.

Anyway. Thigh gaps, ugly armpits, whatever – these “issues” are all insane fabrications that either make us buy stuff or keep us muted. It’s time for women to fight back against the bollocks and stop being accessories to cultural structure rigged to keep us compliant and distracted from stuff that actually matters. Follow the Caitlin Moran rule: when faced with anything as “do men have to put up with this shit?” If the answer is no, then it’s sexist – and you can and should ignore it and concentrate your energy on something that matters. I know it’s hard – I still have days of self-loathing (although mercifully fewer than in my early twenties, ironically when my body was closest to what would technically be described as “slamming” as it ever will be). But we have to try.

As Robyn says, just start by saying you love your body. Over time, you’ll start believing it.

Go get em, tiger.

At last night’s UK Lingerie Awards, Panache took home the Sports Bra Brand of the Year award for the second time running. It’s no surprise: the bra – which runs from B-H cup – has been unanimously celebrated by reviewers across the world, and is constantly recommended to me for all manner of situations. People love it.

There’s just one thing. I don’t.

I first tried the Panache Sports Bra in a 30G about a year and a half ago. I went for a run, excited to try this long-awaited innovation. To the eye, it fit fine – but after about 10 minutes, I had to turn back – I was in too much discomfort with the bra to continue. The next day I tried cycling – and the same thing happened. The day after, I tried yoga – just to be sure. Performing back strengthening exercises on the floor, I was in so much pain that I actually cried.

Although the bra didn’t seem to be riding up or shifting, or even too tight – each and every time I wore it I found it slowly cut in to the muscle at my armpit until I couldn’t wear it any more. At the time I actually wrote to Panache (who – full disclosure – had actually sent me the bra for review) to see if there were any sizing tricks to the bra I wasn’t aware of. They never replied, and I clean forgot to chase or even write my review.

Until now. I’m not writing this because I don’t think Panache should have won. Panache is a brilliant company and this bra is extremely popular with a lot of women and has enabled a lot of women who had written off exercise back in to fitness: I’m sure for some it must be good. But it’s tough for curvy girls to get in to sport as it is – and I’d hate to think of a woman being put off trying because ‘even the best sports bra in the world doesn’t work for me’.

Looking at the bra now, it’s clear that the problem is the the style in relation to my frame. I have a short body, and an even shorter chest – the bra is simply to tall for me and even the most perfect fit won’t stop the slow pinch of that bra in my armpit. However, the ‘BEST SPORTS BRA IN THE WORLD’ not working hasn’t deterred me – once a serial PE dodger I now run regularly (and actually like it…). For fellow petite ladies, Freya do a fantastic underwired sports bra also to an H cup that is cut lower at the armpit. Or if you prefer a softer style of support, Shock Absorber is also pretty good, although in a more limited range of sizes.

Photo from panache-lingerie.com

There are two camps when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. To the first – like Megan Stelling over at the ever-fabulous Rookie – they are “literally the worst thing ever” and designed to make us all feel like inadequate failures before January’s over. In the other – with me and a number of other quite possibly annoying, smiling goons – they are optimistic aspirations that help us reset and refocus on our goals after aeons of daytime darkness and about a fortnight of solid Toblerone consumption.

Rookie claims that 92% of Resolutions “fail” – which is a depressing number – but I can’t help but think that rather depends on your view of “failure”. Sure, if my resolution is “run every day” I am probably going to fall short of the mark (not least when New Year’s Eve ended at 6am on January 1st). But that doesn’t mean I won’t run more often than I would have if I hadn’t made that promise to myself. And surely if I run more… well, to me that’s not failure. The fact that it is not perfection doesn’t mean it isn’t awesome.

This is a super long winded way of saying this: I bloody love running and I am resolved to do more of it in 2014 (I’m racing my husband to 1000k – thighs don’t fail me now). And judging by my Twitter feed, a lot of other people want to join me and my fellow Lycra’d friends at it too. So based on my experiences nearly three years ago here are my top tips for how to start – and keep on – running this year. Good luck!

1: Get The Right Bra

They say you should consult your physician before beginning any new fitness regime. Well, before that, consult a sports’ bra expert. Whatever size, your breasts are made of delicate tissues and fibre that will bounce (in a figure of eight motion, apparently) as you run. Ouch. Invest in a decent sports bra before attempting anything energetic. Freya’s Active range suits me best – you can read my review here – and while Panache’s sports bra is too tall for my short body it’s a favourite with bloggers and awards’ shows alike. Enell and Shock Absorber are also highly recommended – although I prefer a little more support than the SA can offer for a G+ cup during high impact exercise. I tend to wear my sports bras a little tighter in the band than I would a normal bra – I find it gives me better anchorage and as long as it’s not restricting your breathing it’s totally comfortable for the duration of the workout. Remember though – as with any bra if you’re sizing down in the back remember to size up in the cup to ensure consistent cup volume.

2: Get The Right Shoes

This isn’t a post about how you need to spend loads of cash on gear before you can get out on the road, but I do strongly believe that investing in the foundations is essential to ensure you’re not immediately thwarted by sore boobs or niggling knees. So along with your bra, do invest in a good pair of running shoes. Where possible, head down to your local sports shop and (even if you buy your shoes cheaper online afterwards) get your gait analysed. This will tell you how you naturally run, and what shoe support (if any) you need to look for in your. The wrong shoes can lead to injury, so it’s worth doing things properly at the beginning if you’re serious about this resolution. 

3: Feel Comfortable

Assuming you have the right shoes and bra, you soon realise that it really doesn’t matter what you wear when you run. The point is - you’re running. Even if people are judging you for your sloppy joggers or your old Justin Bieber tour teeshirt or your sweaty red face (and believe me, they’re not) – you’re gone before they can get a second look. Personally I like running in Lycra (or short shorts in the summer) because it’s comfortable and makes me feel fast – but I started in some fairly scruffy yoga trousers and old band t-shirts (disclaimer: not Justin Bieber). Wear what feels right for you and your budget, whether that’s hi-tech Lycra or pyjama bottoms. Although always double check you can tie-secure any elasticated waist-bands before running. Runners are a supportive and non-judgemental community, but flashing is still frowned upon.

4: Make It Social

It can be extremely hard to get going in the dark and wet months (or as we like to call them in Northern Europe, 75% of the year), but making social dates can help you stay motivated and – importantly – encouraged. Either run with friends, or use social running apps like Nike+ or Endomondo to stay challenged, be supported and feel part of a community.

5: Set Achievable Goals

It’s your first run. It’s not going to be a marathon. Stretch, then set your timer* for something you feel is manageable based on your fitness and experience (even if it’s just 20 minutes at first) and run slowly and without stopping in loops around your neighbourhood. Try not to stop – if you’re finding it tough slow down or power-walk until you can get going again. Stop, stretch, and be proud of yourself. From this starting point you can build up both time and distance as your fitness increases – and set yourself mini-challenges you can smash as you go. Both the apps recommended above keep track of your progress, making this both fun and easy.

*Note that I recommend time rather than distance – personally I find this a much more encouraging motivator: it makes it easier to get out (anyone can do anything for 30 minutes) -and before you know it not only are you half-way through but you’re also on your way home.

6) Be Kind To Yourself

Whether it’s injury, sickness, work or family commitments – sometimes you’re going to “fail”. It doesn’t matter. The best thing about running is that it’s totally forgiving. Even if you forget about it for months, it’s always there for you. And if running really isn’t for you, then good job for trying. Plenty more activities out there to try… just make sure you do all of your adventuring in a perfectly supportive bra.

*******

Hello 2014, and a very happy New Year to you all. And let me know if you’re taking up running for the first time – would love to hear about your experiences!

Last year, ahead of the whole world’s apparent “LOSE WEIGHT IN 2014″ New Year’s Resolution mayhem, Special K launched a campaign encouraging women to stop “fat talking” about themselves. It argued that the brutal way in which women talk about themselves – using words like fatty, cow, gross etc – is damaging to their self-esteem. And I agree. We can all be horrible to ourselves – but by silencing that unhelpful inner voice and restricting self-commentary to the more positive, constructive tones you would use with a friend we can stop bullying our already trashed self-confidences and help build ourselves up in to happy, well-rounded human beings (hopefully who know there’s more to life than not having a thigh gap).

But you know what? No, Special K. No, you do not get to sell yourself as a brand who cares about empowering women. You – with a product that has been banned in Denmark for potential health risks when eaten every day; your short term weight loss promises; or your 2012 ASA ban in Britain for “misleading information about calorific value and weightloss” – you are not a company who gives one tiny crap about the well-being and happiness of women at large. Your diet encourages a distorted relationship with food designed to sell more of your own products: and because it’s well established that diets fail, you can rest assure that your customers will keep coming back. You are part of the problem: and you do not get to sell your exploitative wares back to the very women you’re helping to manipulate under the guise of empowerment. Graaaa.

New Year’s dieters, spend your money elsewhere. You deserve better.