This first review of 2014 didn’t get off to the greatest of starts. As I tucked myself in to Figleaves Boudoir’s Carmen – the first trendy Marlies Dekkers-esque “strappy” style bra I’ve ever tried – the only words that came (screamed) to mind were OHMYGOD BRA CAGE. It took a few moments to realise that – seasoned bra reviewer that I may be – I was trying to put the damned thing on inside out. Oops.

Carmen did work slightly better the right way round – but although it didn’t feel like my boobs were entrapped in a PlayDoh fun factory, unfortunately it wasn’t exactly a perfect match either. In a 30G the cup was extremely narrow, so at the side the underwire was resting on my breast tissue tracking about an inch away from where it should have been. At the same time the cup fabric, which is actually constructed from two totally separate overlaying layers of mesh, was about a half-size too big – so the neat lines you see in the image above became something rather mangled and unappealing indeed. Tightening the straps did help, but there was still significant puckering and distortion. For a bra who’s raison d’être is to look awesome without clothes on top, it’s a bit of a miss.

Such a shame. I love the design of this bra, and Figleaves have made an affordable version of this dramatic, glamourous trend – but this fit was just way too wide off the mark for me. If you’ve tried a similar style in another DD+ brand I’d love to hear about it.

Figleaves Boudoir’s Carmen is available in sizes 30B-36G. All photos from Figleaves.com

On paper (or, you know, Internet) I love Masquerade. Panache’s luxe offering always delivers on style and I usually spend their seasonal sneak peeks wishing away whole pay packets. It’s boudoir without being too bordello, and the construction is always fantastic.

Like all Masquerade, Antoinette is another soft, gorgeous, well crafted piece of lingerie. The bandeau shape is unusual and super-flattering, giving a heaving cleavage that reminds me of… well… I can’t think. You try similes with this pair of distractions staring back at you in the mirror.

I suspect Antoinette is a great match for a woman with a broader frame – the front centre is quite wide and the straps the were widest set apart I’ve reviewed in a very long time. The back is firm and the underwire tracks nicely, however the cup is slightly small at the top giving me a prominent quadraboob when viewed from the side (if one can escape the epic view from the front). It’s by no means a perfect bra for me but I can’t help but be tempted to keep her. Perhaps that’s why it’s called Antoinette… who cares what the head is doing when you’ve got a rack like this?

It’s worth noting that this isn’t the first time I’ve had trouble with Masquerade’s sizing. Although Medina was spot size wise, the (even more beautiful, sigh) Capela ran far too big in the cup for me. Now with Antoinette I’ve run the full gamut of fit nuances; not a problem when you have time and a helpful assistant in a well stocked store, but not ideal when you’re ordering from overseas. I suspect Antoinette will be reluctantly returned. After I’ve looked at her for a little bit longer, natch…

Masquerade’s Antoinette comes in sizes 28D-38G

It’s not easy having big boobs on a tight budget – with decent E+ bras often retailing at the same price as a single broke girl’s weekly food budget investing in them can be extremely daunting.

While (unpopular sentiment alert) I don’t believe that decent large cup lingerie can be made dirt cheap well or ethically – you won’t catch me in Primark these days, let alone lobby them for bigger bras – I do believe that broke girls can and should get the support they need at a price they can afford.

Figleaves‘ Just Peachy range is definitely catering for the younger, student tastes and budget – with styles retailing for about £20 (and often in the sale/made cheaper by Figleaves’ frequent 20% off offers). I’ve tried a couple of them before – their non-padded balconette is great and while Daisy ran a little small in the cup it was a solid bra for the price.

Zara, in Zebra, is similar again – snug in the back and good in the cup (although still fractionally on the small size – you couldn’t wear her on ‘fuller’ days). She gives a nice, natural shape – not too trussed up – and the zebra print is subtle and classic, with a gentle scalloped lacing on the cup that makes it a little bit more special for an every day bra. She’s also surprisingly soft – often cheaper bras can be tellingly scratchy, but Zara is comfortable. Another cracking bra from Figleave’s own range, available in sizes 30DD-38G.

Remember – whatever your budget, if properly care for your bra your investment will go further. Hand wash, air dry – and never so much as show it to a laundry appliance. You’ll save a fortune in the long term.

I wasn’t ever a huge fan of Curvy Kate‘s earlier Tease Me/Tempt Me/Truss Me (I made that one up) Showgirl series so I’ve quite enjoyed their recent lines – simple and unfussy styles with the odd mega-plunge for days that need an extra oomph.  Roxie is definitely one of my favourites from this season – a pretty, deep padded plunge bra which gives a killer cleavage in something that serves as a cute alternative to your average moulded plunge.

The plunge is extremely deep which makes it great for low necklines (not to mention my problematic bony sternum, which stops me wearing many of Curvy Kate’s higher cut styles), but the scalloping along the cup stops it from being too severe. I really like the “sherbet” underlay beneath the black – you can’t tell from the pictures but it’s actually a subtle, dusty pink and quite pretty. The back could be a little firmer perhaps, but the cup fits perfectly – and like many of Curvy Kate’s styles the far-apart straps are perfect for broader women (although not so wide that they slipped off my quite narrow shoulders).

I actually love this bra, but I’m not keeping it. It’s the weirdest thing… Roxie is the LOUDEST bra I have ever worn. Seriously. It creaks with every tiny move. On closer inspection, it seems to be the covering the metal on the bra rings and strap lengtheners squeaking against the ribbon straps. Who knows, perhaps it would ease away with wear. But it would drive me bonkers in the process.

Curvy Kate’s Roxie is available in sizes 28-30 D-J, 32 D-HH, 34 D-H, 36 D-GG and 38 D-G.

And the first odd beauty story of 2014 is… boob deodorant. Now, I’m no fan of ‘invented beauty issues’, and all of the media I’ve read around the subject focusses on this being another symptom of a culture that spends a lot of time (and makes a lot of money) from inventing new problems for women to worry about, and new unattainable standards for women to be held up to. There’s no question that this is a real phenomena. But for once, I disagree that boob deodorant is a part of it.

Most big boobed girls will understand why this product could exist. Hell, in summers between 1997-2007 I would routinely roll my Sure across my ribs. There are few things more distracting to a class or a night in the pub or a day at work than (no exaggeration) rivulets of sweat running down your stomach.

Why did I stop this weird, desperate behaviour in 2007? Hint – it wasn’t because someone invented a better product than my cotton fresh roll-on. It’s because I changed the bra size I wore from a 34E to a 30G.

When you have heavy breasts, you need to wear a tighter back band than your smaller breasted friends might because you need a stronger anchor to keep them in place. Too loose, and the back will ride up… because the front is being pulled down. This results in breast resting on chest – skin on skin – and just like the sweat you get behind your bent knees and elbows on a hot day, it sweats. Yes, it’s natural – but being a teenager is hard enough already without throwing in wet chest patches and under-dress dripping.

Boob deodorant isn’t like ‘underarm beautifying deodorant’ or the baffling ‘boob wrinkle smoothing bra‘ because it isn’t an invention designed to make us feel crap about something we didn’t realise we had to feel crap about. If you are unlucky enough to suffer from ‘swoobs’, you feel crap about it already. Much like bras with padded shoulders to avoid digging, or over-sizing bra components to avoid overspill, boob deodorant is a salve for the symptom, not a cure for the problem. Throw away your quick-fix gimmicks and everything you think you know about bra fitting. If your underboobs are sweating profusely, a better fitting bra is your key to a dryer, more comfortable summer.

Panache’s basic Superbra range was recommended to me when I got married, and while Freya’s Deco Multiway won that race at the crucial moment of having to have something sewn in to my dress, when I found Zara on sale recently I had to give it a go.

I think I made the right choice with my Deco Multiway. Zara feels like a lovely bra – she’s soft and supple and has all the hallmarks of a bra that would see you from alter to afterparty in comfort – but there’s something off the the sizing. I spent ages switching around the straps from normal to cross backed to halter but to no avail: the back was too loose and the cups too small, meaning the front couldn’t lay flat against my sternum and the whole thing felt insecure. I’d recommend sizing down once in the back and going up twice in the cup (to ensure additional volume on the smaller back sizes). I’d need to go from a 30G to a 28H – putting me just out of range for this bra.

If you’ve got time to spend figuring things out in the changing room, or your size adjustment is within range, she’s a soft and quality feeling bra in a lovely dusty pink colour. But it’s a another miss for me. I’m not having much luck this year…

Panache’s Zara is available in sizes 28-38 D-G.

I wanted to share this provocative TEDxYouth talk by Caroline Heldmen for a little bit of Sunday smarts. It’s an interesting data led discourse on “objectification culture”, especially self-objectification, and its ability to limit the potential of girls and women.

It’s not perfect and it’s quite radical – she’s speaking to a young, impressionable audience quite likely still in the miserable teenage vacuum of self-esteem (those were the days) – but as she removes her makeup on stage she let’s them know that they don’t have to worry about matching up to an impossible ideal, and challenges them to think about how to make a better world. I think for young women today it’s an inspiring message. I know I wish it hadn’t taken until my late twenties to truly understand that I’d been trying to win at a game that was always rigged against me.

What do you think?

If you’re keen for more, check out model Cameron Russell’s funny and honest talk on how “Looks aren’t everything”. Genuinely inspiring on privilege and beauty. Enjoy.

I’ve recommended Freya’s staple swim range Fever countless times. Simple, understated, and stylish, it’s an easy basic for girls who shy away from patterns, or who want a one-piece with a bit of extra p-pow. That said – always distracted by patterns – I’ve never actually tried her myself.

I’m glad to say I haven’t been recommending a turkey. I’m a big fan of Freya Swim – I haven’t found a swimwear brand that fits or suits me so well, and their ever-expanding ranges have a huge variety of sizes and styles for all tastes. The Fever sweetheart/balconette bikini is no exception. She’s nice and firm in the back (something you want if like me you’re not a sit-down-and-sunbathe-for-eight-hours-solid kind of a girl). She is ever so slightly big at the tip of the cup, but with fully adjustable straps this is easily resolved without any telltale puckering. She’s also very slightly padded, which is a nice extra layer of modesty/structural integrity for the nervous. Fit wise, she’s great.

And I love that Fever is more special than your average black swimwear. The subtle black stitching and retro style fold and button detail makes it more pool-bar special than your average sports combo, but without being too ostentatious for girls who like to be understated. Constantly reinvented in new colourways, Fever is already a classic and a great staple for any sunshine holiday wardroble.

The Freya Fever sweetheart bikini is available in sizes 30-36 D-GG and 38 D-G… however, Fever runs up to a JJ cup in the plunge style for those with more up top.

Weird. In a recent review of Curvy Kate’s Roxie I said I didn’t miss their Showgirl range. But it would seem however that Figleaves did – because while Tease Me is gone, Tease is back – reanimated by Figleaves Boudoir for 2014.

To be fair to Figleaves it’s not a carbon copy and I suspect (hope) the name is just a coincidence. But the jewel tones, fussy lace overlay, and odd frills that refuse to rest happily under clothes mean that Tease has me flashing back to everything I didn’t like about the hugely popular range by Curvy Kate. Those mourning Showgirl’s disappearance, take note…

It’s worth saying that this bra gets stellar reviews on Figleaves’ website, from girls who are also a 30G. But I really did not get on with this it. Like other reviewers, I found the back too tight, but this effect was exacerbated by the super skinny two-hook fastening which – dropping from quite a tall side cup – forced the back band in to quite a sharp angle and to dig in. It’s also small in the front, which comes with the dual bonus of thrusting one’s cleavage chinwards and over-emphasising the only partially attached lace underneath clothes. I suppose if I liked the bra more I might try a 32G, but the plain truth is this bra does nothing for me. It’s much prettier and delicate on this model (and presumably, in a smaller size) in the flesh. On, I just felt like I was in raggedy showgirl fancy dress. And for a bra that retails at nearly £50, that’s not good enough for me.

Figleaves Boudoir’s Tease is available in sizes 30B-36G. I have to say: Curvy Kate did it better.

Photo from Figleaves.com

What happens when a bra fitting experience turns in to a daily nightmare?

Help Me Busts 4 Justice

I was recently fitted in a specialty store from my old size of 36B into a 32D. I was informed that I was wearing a hilariously incorrect size and learned the swoop and scoop (not generally taught to smaller busted women, in my experience). I tried on a bunch of bras ranging from 34C-32DD, and the fitter said the 32D was the best size for me.

Here’s the problem: it’s incredibly uncomfortable. The fitter explained that the smaller band may take a little getting used to but I want to rip this bra off my body every time I put it on. The wires don’t appear to be sitting on top of breast tissue, but they dig in and I can feel them all day. The cups will occasionally move out of place, if for example I reach both hands up above my head, but are impossible to move back without grabbing the cups with my hands and hauling them back down. I have red marks around my torso, chest and shoulders when I take the bra off and my breasts feel tender. I feel like I suddenly have all these problems I’ve heard women with large breasts complain about, but it’s ridiculous because I’m small enough that I don’t even need to wear a bra. 

I know it sounds like the obvious answer is a smaller band and a bigger cup, but the one I bought is so tight and uncomfortable I’m terrified to go any smaller in the band. It’s not a cheap bra either, it’s a Marie Jo. My underbust measures 31″ with the tape measure pulled tight, 32″ comfortably, and over bust is 36.5″. How do I get justice for my bust?

K

Hey K,

Thanks for your e-mail – and sorry to hear your bust appears to be suffering an injustice at the hands of a zealous bra fitter!

While I do know that many women, especially those with heavier breasts, benefit from wearing tighter bras and the method promoted by your fitter – your fitter seems to have forgotten a massively important part of her job: measurements are only one part of the puzzle, and the only ‘right’ bra is the one that the wearer loves.

It’s true that tighter bras do take some getting used to, but usually that means a couple of days before you forget it’s there totally from one end of the day to the next. From your description, it seems clear that your bra is far too tight. While red marks in themselves aren’t anything to worry about (think about when you take your tights off), pain is – and you don’t have to suffer it because a fitter tells you it’s right!

This could be down to a few things. Firstly, your Marie Jo could run very tight in the band, in which case 32D may indeed work for you in other brands. Secondly, your body type might just not get on with tighter bands. This is often the case with muscular body types, and also women with prominent ribs – in which case you could try sister size 34C for a better match. Ultimately, all three bra sizes – 32D, 34C and your old 36B have the same equivalent volume – it’s about what gives you the support you want and the comfort you need.

Assuming you don’t want to go back to the torture dungeon, here are some things to look out for when trying on bras yourself.

1: Sizing (unfortunately) is not standardized. A 32D in Marie Jo may not fit the same as a 32D in, say, Freya. Always take multiple sizes in to the changing room and don’t be afraid to veer from your ‘starter size’ if the fits not right. Most women have multiple sizes in their lingerie draw.

2: After ‘swooping and scooping’, adjust the straps to fit. They should not slip, but they should never be tight or dig in to your shoulders at all – it sounds as if you may have your Marie Jo straps pulled far too tight (or, if you are tall, the Marie Jo straps may be far too short). This could explain why your cups have been moving up so much (and staying there!).

3: Check the band. It should be horizontal and remain so as you move around. It should be firm but not uncomfortable. You should be able to get two fingers under the clasp and pull away an inch quite comfortably. The centre gore at the front should sit flat against the body – it sitting away could mean your cups are too small and/or your band is too loose.

4: Check the cups. The wire should track along underneath where your breast meets your torso, and it should not sit on the breast tissue anywhere. Cups should sit smoothly at the top of the breast, and not dig in (too small) nor pucker/gape (too big).

When trying alternate sizes, when going up a band size always go down a cup size (and vice versa) to get equivalent volume.

I hope this helps you navigate your way to the right bra. Remember, ultimately finding the right bra comes down to your preference and what personally feels right for you while giving you the support you want.

Good luck, and let me know how you get on!

Love from B4J x

Firstly, apologies for the hiatus. New job + three weeks of working away has left little time for boobs… but I’m back at B4J basecamp now and getting back to business.

First up, a shot at the impossible. The extremely nice people at innovative underwear brand Nudwear contacted me before I went away and offered to send me one of their adhesive bras to try. Now I should say here that I always refuse offers of product from brands that don’t cater to fuller cup sizes, but the Nudwear team suggested I give it a go anyway in a sister size. Could a stick on bra support G-Unit? In the name of science, I accepted.

The adhesive bra is not really a bra – rather two beige cups that connect via a clasp in the middle and adhere to your skin with a sticky silicon (not over the nipples – fear not). There are additional stealth hooks to add invisible straps should you want more support. It’s a little tricky to get on if you’ve got more of a handful, but with a little wiggling I had everything in place in a couple of minutes.

My friends, what followed was not pretty. I say I had everything in place… As you know I never share pictures of myself in the lingerie I test, but imagine two large, mis-shapen balls of raw dough slowly sliding down a wall and you pretty much have it. In the case of Gravity vs Nudwear, Gravity wins. For my self-esteem, I must now erase the memory of my reflection from my brain.

It’s worth saying that the adhesive bra get’s stellar reviews from smaller busted girls – I suspect if you don’t need huge amounts of support it’s a useful little tool for tricky dresses – not to mention a nifty solution for holiday packing. Having just carted three weeks’ worth of G-cup bras across America I have huge envy for girls who don’t need half a suitcase for their smalls. My strapless bras practically need their own passport.

Thanks to Nudwear for the sample and the optimism – for a moment I did dare to dream. And in spite of the disappointment, I had almost the polar opposite experience with some of their shapewear tech – so look out for a review coming soon.

The Nud adhesive bra retails at around $40 and is available in cup sizes A-D.

Sometimes, I love the world. No sooner had depilation fundamentalists Veet launched a campaign telling their target consumer that 24 hours worth of hair growth is equivalent to growing a penis, were they forced to pull the campaign with an embarrassed apology and faces as red as a freshly home-waxed upper lip.

The world is as far from perfect as it’ll ever be, but the fact that women are slowly but increasingly being heard by advertisers to cut the crap on this kind of misogynist (and a few other -ist + ics) rubbish means it’s not all bad. At least, it means that we’re no longer pretending that body hair is anything worth distracting us from the important stuff, at least.

An argument has broken out over a ban on topless men at a funfair in England. Firm or flabby, men’s bare chests will no longer be free to the wind on a hot day (well, in parts of Essex at least).

Now I take no personal pleasure in the type of semi-nudity that we’re talking about here (although for the record I am much, much more offended by the gnarled and fetid unpedicured feet of your average suburban man in flip flops), but I can’t help but wonder if this isn’t a step backwards for everyone.

Women are constantly told to cover up their top halves in public, even when attempting to breast feed (well it’s not like that’s their primary biological function or anything…).  That we’d got to the point where men could freely bare their dimpled, sinking, sporadically fuzzed chests to the world on a hot day without recrimination left a glimmer of hope that one day soon we might realise that we’re all just two nippled creatures, and that getting upset by a flash of one or two is as archaic as fretting over a flash of ankle. By enforcing a cover up, you confirm that nipples are something scandalous.

I never thought I’d say this but men: it’s your moral duty. Get them out for the girls*.

Original article from the Guardian here.

*And put those feet away while your at it, yeah?

I’ve waxed lyrical about Wonderbra’s Ultimate Strapless on more than one occasion, but after a good six months of my questions about an apparent increased occurrence of allergic reactions in wearers being ignored, I’m forced to rethink my recommendations. My former reviews will now link to this post, and I will no longer recommend the Ultimate Strapless.

It started when a friend said that her replacement Ultimate Strapless had caused blistering underneath the silicon strips. The blistering was painful and left marks. I wrote about it and reached out to Wonderbra to ask if the silicon recipe had changed: that my friend had worn and loved one US before without any trouble. No reply.

It wasn’t just my friend though. Here are some complaints taken from messages to me AND messages left unanswered on the Wonderbra Facebook page.

“I absolutely LOVED the wonderbra ultimate strapless, and it was fine. Then I got new ones and it leaves me rashes and blisters in the shape of a bra (exactly where the non slip silicone is), so I’m sure it’s a new highly allergic formula of silicone. Such a pity, it was by far the best bra ever.”  S, B4J reader.

“I have worn this bra all day today and just havnt felt right but couldn’t put my finger on what it was. My back begin to ache I just though I was tired. Whilst I was washing up my back felt as if the bra was scratching me so I took it off and took a look in the mirror to my horror my back is all blistered and my front is raised and has a rash where the silicon has been on my skin. I searched on google and came across this thread.” G, B4J reader.

“the Ultimate Strapless caused my skin to blister on my ribs where the band goes and I now have scars!!!!” E, Wonderbra UK fan. 

“I wore the bra all day yesterday and when I took it off I had a row of very raised blisters containing fluid at quite a high pressure, on either side of my ribcage where the cups meet the back of the bra. My doctor confirmed today that the blisters are not the result of the bra rubbing me and are very likely to be an allergic reaction to one of the materials in the gel strips. They are likely to take at least several days to go down and as a result I’m now unable to wear a bra at all.” K, Wonderbra UK fan.

So what do you say Wonderbra? Has the silicon recipe changed or is it a series of bad batches? And most importantly, how can purchasers experiencing allergic reactions contact you directly for refunds?

Readers, I’ll keep you posted.

I’m a well documented fan of Figleaves – largely because their international shipping service is quick and easy, and way more affordable than shopping locally (€70 for an out-of-season Freya? No thank you, Amsterdam boutiques). I also have a soft spot for their own brand lines. Although I’ve had a decidedly uneven range of experiences with Figleaves Boudoir (here, here and here), Just Peachy is a cracking everyday option for a girl on a budget (here and here and here too), and both their own name range and Midnight Grace have been responsible for some affordable and fashionable swimwear options over the last couple of years too (here and here). So I was pretty excited to hear that Figleaves are launching another sub-brand, this time branding out to an H cup. Lulu Tout is an affordable, sophisticated range of styles that are every-day enough to be, well, everyday – but pretty enough to wear on special occasions. I love the range of colours and the dainty embroidery that threads through the range, and actually had a hard time narrowing down my choice of bra to review. (Somehow, I coped…) Settling on Amelie (low plunge, beautiful scalloping, sheer fabric: winner), I couldn’t wait to try her. And I wasn’t disappointed. Fit wise she’s firm, and the underwire tracks nicely. In my go-to size of 30G the fit was pretty bang on, although I had to tighten the straps to flatten the cups. Inbetweeny cup sizes may want to consider sizing down a half cup to find the perfect fit. Both top and bottom are very flattering, and I loved the sheer knickers with the “bead embroidery” – there’s something very flapper-esque about the detail. On, it looks like a much more expensive piece of lingerie than its modest £24 price tag. That said, the bra itself is actually quite simply constructed. The slings aren’t stitched down – which is a bit fiddly when you’re getting yourself in to it but means it avoids that “suspension bridge” appearance some sheer bras have. In general it gives good support and a nice shape, and for the money I think is a great purchase. It would seem that Figleaves have done it again, and created another great affordable option for girls looking for something a little special on a budget. My only niggle would be that the feel of the fabric itself betrays its price point - it feels cheaper than it looks, and a slightly softer fabric mix would make this bra a knock out. But for the price and the fit, I don’t think it’s a bad little bargain at all. Thanks to Figleaves for sharing Amelie with me. Looking forward to seeing where the range goes next. Lulu Tout’s Amelie underwired bra is available in sizes between 30-38 DD-H.

A couple of days late to this, but I can’t quite articulate how wonderful, inspiring and cockle-warming this Monokini Kickstarter story is.

Bold, fun, and designed exclusively for women after a mastectomy; Monokini stands up to “narrow minded ideas of beauty” that excludes one-breasted cancer survivors, challenges people’s discomfort at post-mastectomy bodies, and creates a wonderful alternative to uncomfortable prosthetic swimwear on the beach for those who want it.

It exists as a haute couture version, but the Monokini team have a vision to bring their creations to market. For this, they need a mere $55,000 pledge – for which they have asked the Kickstarter community.

I love this story, I love the spirit, I love their message, and FYI I LOVE LOVE LOVE the black and white number in the above centre. I reckon these girls deserve a just few of our dollars to realise their awesome dream.

Go forth and back!

Photo by Monokini.

It’s time to #FreeTheNipple! Or rather, it’s probably time we stopped freaking out so much about something every single mammal in the world has when it appears on a certain 50+% of the human population.

In a culture that loses its head pretty much every time a female celebrity “daringly” (*ahem*) shows a bra strap, the team behind the TaTa Top definitely has its work cut out for it – but I love the intention. The $28 bikini (currently available in three skin tones) makes you look topless at first glance – but as your real nipples are hidden underneath the cartoon ones it’s technically not breaking any indecency laws. It takes a friendly poke at anyone who’s ever flagged a breastfeeding Facebook post, tutted at a topless sunbather, or lost it over a nip-slip. It seeks to highlight the absurd difference between of male vs female nipple freedom, while normalising the sight of bare boobs. It’s provocative, it’s interesting and – most importantly – it’s funny. I love it.

Best of all $5 of every sale goes to one of their supported charities. Get your TaTa Top here.

It has been way too long, dear readers. I have lingerie unreviewed, I have nearly one hundred help requests unanswered, and enough e-mails to last me a lifetime.

Not to sound too much like another Buzzfeed list, but what only people who travel a lot for work know is that it is damned hard. Don’t get me wrong, there are perks – and if you’re like me you love your job – but working away from home is as much of a jolly as trying to get your G-cup boobs fitted at Victoria’s Secret. Jetlag becomes such a permanent state that measured time becomes abstract to you. You work every waking second of the day because the day to day stuff doesn’t stop. You eat terribly (helllooo, minibar Pringles for lunch). You re-wear clothes way more than strictly socially acceptable. You don’t have time to do the things you like, like to run, or ring your husband, or write your blog.

You also are so tired when you get home that you are prone to doing stupid things… like tripping over your own suitcase, smacking your head against a brick wall, and giving yourself concussion so you can’t actually look at a screen for a fortnight – only to recover just in time to get on another damn plane… It’s been a hell of a summer.

Anyway, apologies for the tardiness, thanks for the patience, apologies if I owe you a reply… and hello. How have you been? I missed you.

Back soon.

Love, B4J x

Photo via io9.com

Okay, so before I get back to lingerie reviews and feminism and the usual stuff, I have to first deal with a huge, unshakeable disappointment: the brand new Wonder Woman costume.

Ugh. Ignoring for a second that this is a near perfect imitation of fellow warrior princess Xena (as if WW needs to steal anyone’s style), does anyone believe that – under self-administered lasso of truth – Wonder Woman would thank her stylist?

Wonder Woman has flair! She has her own playful style! She has gold and red and high cut hotpants with stars on for the love of god. Sure, so much exposed flesh can’t be good in combat and she’d probably get cold in flight, but as every girl who has ever winced the night away in beautiful but evil heels will attest sometimes impractical is worth it if you love the outfit.

What this has done is strip Wonder Woman of her unique signature style and forced her to conform to the other warrior princesses’ fashions, but without the payoff of a more practical or comfortable outfit. Wonder Woman is an icon and a complete bad ass and apparently wandering around on the smouldering ruins of something pretty messy up there. You think she’d pass up something longer in the leg for BROWN?

My Odette has to go in to my lingerie hall of fame – not as another pretty, vintage-feel bra from Affinitas’ Parfait collection (which it is) – but as the most well travelled review item ever. This summer it has been to Sao Paulo, Boston, New York, London, back to Amsterdam, back to London and on to Sicily in the hope that I might have time on my travels to review it. I am nothing if not optimistic.

Although it ran a little small in the cup, I liked their Charlotte a lot [still available, review here] and I liked Odette too. It’s a simple floral number, and it gives a really nice 50’s style cleavage (think Betty Draper rather than Joan Harris). Fit wise, it could be snugger in the back – even post Sicilian Carb Binge it was loose. The cups are fractionally small though, so sizing down in the back would have sized me out of the range. Sad face. Greedily, I can’t wait for this lovely little establishing brand to branch out beyond its D-G range.

Unfortunately while the fit is nearly there, as is my eternal curse with balconette styles, the centre gore is a little taller than my flared and bony rib cage can hack for extended wear – especially on a band that can’t anchor steadfastly to my body. So after all of those intercontinental adventures this little treat will remain for now at home.

One quick note – as per Charlotte I absolutely love the pants. Affinitas are clearly knicker wizards. Flattering with soft lacy bits that don’t do their best to expose themselves through your clothing, these are cracking little undercrackers. Fit seems true to size, so unlike with Charlotte and her mind-meltingly matching bottoms you don’t need to size down. Enjoy!

Odette by Parfait from Affinitas is available in sizes 30-40 D-G.

Thanks very much to the kind people at Affinitas for the sample: I’m sorry it took about 10,000 air miles to get to print! xoxo

Photo from affinitasintimates.com (less retouching on the poor models for future lookbooks please!)